Wow, how sad the last time I did a blog post was after Talon was born. I have missed out on blogging for the past 3 and a half years, but I don't want to forget any detail from Jaina's birth. First of all I feel like I need to share a little about the dreams I had of Jaina long before she was born.
When I was pregnant with Talon I was "over the moon" excited with the fact that after more than 10 years we were finally going to have another baby. For years Jeremy and I assumed that we would not have more children due to his ongoing battle with epilepsy and other health problems. There was a time he was having 11 gran mal seizures a day. My mom had to live with us during the week days to help ensure his safety so I could work M-F. There were times we wondered if Jeremy's body would even survive the trauma it was under each and every day, so honestly we thought our dream of having more children was completely out of the question. To make a long story short, a miracle occurred after several years and he did end up getting better with the right cocktail of medications and a diet change. After he was seizure free for almost 2 years we decided to have another baby. Right after I found out I was pregnant with Talon, I started having dreams of a little dark haired baby girl. The dreams were so vivid and real, I would wake up and I could still smell that baby girl and I honestly missed her and would try to fall asleep quickly so I could dream of her again. I was grateful to know that she was growing in my belly and that we were going to meet her within 9 months. We chose the name Jaina and were almost 100% sure she was going to be a girl. Oh how we loved her already!
Fast forward to the night before my ultrasound... I was dreaming and holding that little dark haired newborn girl at the hospital, Jeremy had brought the car around so I could put her in her car seat and we could take her home and start the new chapter of our lives. This was after all our bonus baby, the one we thought we would never have the chance to have. Not to mention if you've read the previous posts about the life threatening scare I had when I was pregnant with Talon you can assume that we knew for a fact that this baby was going to be the final baby in the Devey family. So back to the dream. I distinctly remember looking down at that beautiful baby girl and bending down to put her in the car. As I was putting her in the car seat I looked over and was completely shocked to see a light haired little boy in a front facing car seat smiling at me. I remember thinking, who is that boy and I felt an overwhelming sense of love for him already as well. Then I immediately woke up and sat straight up in our bed at 3am completely confused. I had to wake up Jeremy, I told him that I wasn't so sure that we were having a girl anymore. He let me ramble on about how maybe it was just a weird dream, maybe it meant something, maybe it meant nothing, after all, that boy looked nothing like Skyler or Kenzie because they both had dark eyes, dark skin, dark hair. This boy was light eyed, light haired, and was super white, I thought maybe it was a boy I was babysitting or something, but I was no longer 100% sure that my baby was going to be a girl.
Jeremy, my mom, and I went to my ultrasound the next morning where the doctor confirmed that I was indeed carrying a boy. I was so excited, but at the same time felt a sense of loss. What about that little girl, my Jaina that I had had several dreams about. I had been told numerous times during that pregnancy that I need to terminate and not get pregnant ever again. However, I knew God had granted me a miracle of having my pulmonary hypertension miraculously healed and I was certain that Jaina had been in my dreams those several times to make me fall in love with her and to tell me not to forget about her, that she was patiently waiting up there for us. I knew the second that the ultrasound tech told me I was having a boy that we were not done having babies, there was definitely one more in the cards for us. Talon was an absolute angel baby. He has brought so much light, love, and joy to our family, he is my best little buddy and I feel so blessed that he is ours. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the entire world.
So now on to Jaina's birth story. We tried for about 6 months to get pregnant with her, this was by far the longest we had ever tried to get pregnant. I was super busy with work and organizing the Gift of Hearing event up on campus. I was under a ton of stress, but the second I saw those two lines indicating I was pregnant no amount of stress could have brought me down! Our whole family was ecstatic and couldn't wait to meet this baby. From the moment we told the kids we were pregnant, Talon would talk all the time about his baby sister. We told the kids if it was a girl her name would be Jaina and we discussed ideas of names for boys. Anytime we asked Talon what the name should be if it was a brother, he would say it wasn't a brother, that it was a sister named Jaina. I felt like it was a girl, but I hadn't had any dreams about her this pregnancy, so I was not completely sure. We were all so excited when we found out for sure that she was a girl. We got a big box of donuts and they wrote across the tops of them "It's a girl!" Kenzie ran around the house screaming at the top of her lungs that she was going to have a sister! It was great. Everything during the pregnancy went very very well. I did find out I had gestational diabetes around 28 weeks along. I was able to control my blood sugars well through diet and exercise. They say often times if you have GD you will have a very large baby. This terrified me slightly due to the fact that all of my kids were born a month early and they weighed 7.11, 7.12, and 7.2. I didn't have GD with those three, so I was nervous I might possibly have a 10 lb baby.
When I was 35 weeks pregnant, I was already dilated to almost a 4 and I was 70-80% effaced. My doctor thought this baby might be the earliest yet. Each day that went by was a bonus. My due date was December 30th 2016, but they didn't think I would make it past the first week in Dec. We were all shocked when I made it through the entire fall semester and didn't have to leave my classroom/students early like we assumed I would. December 22 my doctor had just gotten back into town from a week long vacation, I saw her in her office and she stripped my membranes, she told me to go to the hospital if I started having contractions, even if they were weak or far apart. I told her I had been having contractions for over a month (not painful per say, but definitely noticeable). She said she would probably see me that night. So I went home and got last minute things taken care of. Jeremy and my mom had popcorn deliveries to make and I had a student's family from school coming to pick up an order of popcorn. I was definitely having contractions, but didn't want to go to the hospital until my student's family picked up their popcorn. My mom could have given it to them, but I really wanted to see them and also, I had a fear of going to the hospital and being sent home. So I waited and then once the family picked up their popcorn we kissed the kids and my mom goodbye and made our way to Logan Regional Hospital. Our adventure was about to begin!
Once I got to the hospital, we gave the nurses station a few bags of kettle corn and then went back to my room. I changed into the lovely hospital gown attire and they put the heart monitor and contraction monitor on me. I was definitely having contractions, but assumed they were 5-6 minutes apart. I was shocked when the nurse said I was having consistent contractions every 2-3 minutes. We called mom and she and MaKenzie came up to the hospital right away. My Dr., Dr. Blackett came in and she checked me, I was 5cm and 90% effaced, she broke my water and then the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. Once the epidural was in my back they taped it up really good, my whole back had the tape on it, so when I wasn't feeling any heaviness in my legs or any numbing sensation, they had to rip that tape off and push the epidural catheter in further. Honestly the most painful part of the whole labor and delivery process was ripping that flippin tape off my back. I absolutely loved my anesthesiologist, the nurses, my doctor, absolutely everything was great!!!!
The nurse checked me after an hour and I was still at 5 cm, she told me if I didn't start dilating they would give me some pitocin to speed things along. She checked me 15 minutes later and I was 7cm and 100% effaced but the baby was still high. I asked for a guess on how long until the baby would arrive because I had a photographer coming over from Hyrum to do some birth photos of Jaina. They said it would be about another hour or so before I would be ready to push, so I told the photographer and then just relaxed. After about 5 minutes I got the shakes super bad, the nurse said she wanted to check me because that is usually a sign you body has gone through transition and is ready to push. I thought "No Way, I was just a 7 a couple minutes ago," but sure enough I was 10 cm and Jaina's head was down low and they were ready for me to push. I quickly texted the photographer and told her to come ASAP and that she would probably miss Jaina's grand entrance. When my doctor came in I told her about the photographer and she said as long as I didn't feel the urge to push we could wait. So we waited and waited and then Jaina's heart rate began to drop with my contractions. They gave me oxygen and wanted me to take slow deep breaths, so I did. They decided it was time to deliver Jaina right as the photographer walked in.
They asked me if I wanted a mirror so I could see Jaina be born, I said sure and then I got in pushing position. When I looked in the mirror it freaked me out big time, not that Jaina was going to come out of there, but for some reason I hadn't really thought about just how exposed I was to everyone in that room until right then when I saw for myself. I quickly said "no thanks, put it away, put it away." So they rolled it back out with a chuckle. Then Dr. Blackett gave me the go ahead to push, so I did, I gave one big push. I was completely shocked when I heard Jeremy gasp and start "laugh crying" saying "her head is out, oh my gosh Ali she is so beautiful!" The doctor had me breathe for a minute before pushing a second time and so I did and then when she told me to give one more push I did and out came that little girl with dark hair. I recognized her immediately, she was my little Jaina from my dreams 4 years ago. I immediately felt a sense of completeness. All my adult life I wondered how I would know when I was done having babies, but I knew right then and there that our family was complete.She was our caboose, our grand finale. It was a good feeling. I thought it would be a difficult feeling to have, but it was a good feeling that just felt right.
I will never forget the moment that I saw her face, her eyes were wide open, her arms were flailing out like she was scared to death and then her cry, that beautiful little cry. Talon later asked why she sounds like a baby goat and says "mahhh, mahhh" when she cries.
The doctor/nurses recommended I do skin-to-skin with Jaina for the first hour and a half, so per doctor's orders, she was ALL MINE for 90 minutes and I enjoyed every single second of her and my time together. It was a beautiful and very surreal moment. It always feels like I am in a dream right after my babies are born, like I can literally feel angels and heaven surrounding all of us in the room. I LOVE that feeling. Skyler and Talon were out in the waiting room during the actual delivery, but they came up immediately afterwards, Tal was so excited to see his baby sister, the kids all kissed her head and held her tiny fingers, what an amazing feeling to have your whole family in the room to share in that moment, that priceless memory that will never be forgotten!
The photographer left feeling bad that she was there at the hospital doing pictures for less than 10 minutes, lol. I was glad it was quick. Once everyone got a good look at Jaina and a few moments with me and Jeremy they headed home for the night.
Jaina was born at 9:04 pm on 12/22/16. She was 19 inches long and weighed 6 lbs 15oz. We were so worried she might be huge since I carried her 3 weeks longer than any of my other children and had the diabetes during the pregnancy, but she was my smallest by far. She was absolutely perfect in every way.
Now Jaina is almost 3 weeks old, time is going to fast. The first couple of weeks home were tough because Jaina wasn't latching on to nurse, so I was pumping milk every 2 hours to feed her. She finally figured it out about a week ago and that has made life a million times easier. I have 12 weeks off per FMLA and each day that goes by brings the realization that I am one day closer to having to leave her and Talon and go back to work. It will be difficult, but I am doing my best to stay positive and just trying to cherish this precious time with them. I feel beyond blessed!